Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
