There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
