I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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