If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
