god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
