I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
fuck your aforementioned shoe
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
