we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
