Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize