I can text with my tongue
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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