; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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