puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
