I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
