is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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