tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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