You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
