Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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