why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
