I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
