So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
