i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
