Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
