She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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