Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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