She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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