we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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