I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize