I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
