One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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