What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
