WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
