I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
