i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
