i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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