Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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