Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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