So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
