i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
