bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
