I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
