Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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