And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
