i was born a porn star she said
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize