sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
