It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
