can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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