Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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