I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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