I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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