Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
