yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
