I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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