That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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