He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
