It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
