I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
