I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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