at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize