I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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