Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
