my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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