i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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