so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
