That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
