He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
