Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
