He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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